Blogs, journals, personal writing.

Okay, so I hate personal writing. It's so hypocritical. You pretend that you are writing your thoughts and feelings, simply recording what's going on in your head. But the thing is, when you write, you ALWAYS write for an audience of some sort. When I was younger, I knew that my friends would bust into my diary and read it, so I liked to make things racy for them. Even the ones with the locks on them are garbage. I would look back and read stuff I'd written when I was eleven or twelve and be embarrassed. Not because of what I said, but the tone I used. "Jake is soooOOoooOooO cute!" "That's totally bogus!" Like, I never said things like that, why did I write them? I was clearly trying to be hip and cool. You don't try to be cool if you're only writing down thoughts.

I don't mind blogs, but I prefer reading ones that are professionally written from people who I would actually want to talk to. I like reading celebrity blogs (as long as they're written by the actual celebrity), or professional journalist blogs. Why do I care about Joe Schmo's opinions? "Ha, we caught you Whitney, you're such a hypocrite. You are writing a blog right now!" Well, yes. But you know what, life is one big contradiction.

Anyways, I hate the idea of sitting down and keeping a journal, because it doesn't show you who I am. It doesn't help me find myself. The people around you and the experiences you have do that. Writing is not a release, it's not an involuntary action where your brain magically connects to the tips of your finger and all your emotions come spewing out onto the page. When you write you have to think about structure and grammar and adverbs. Writing is hard! It's calculated. When I'm mad, I play sports or do something active. When I'm sad, I cry and sing Sinead O'Connor songs at the top of my lungs. When I'm happy, I laugh and giggle and tell jokes. When I'm in love, I kiss the person I'm in love with. I don't waste time writing it down in some dumb book.

So I've told you what this blog will not be. What it will be is a forum for me to express my concerns on controversial, political, local and global issues. It's more of a place that I can record my opinions; I have so many of them. And feel free to let me know what you think. After all, you are my audience.

-- the golden girl